One Word, One Year.

LIVE.

Seeing that word typed out on this blank canvas stirs up great anticipation in my soul, but also produces a feeling of responsibility and focus.

2010 can only be described in one word.

LONG.

Probably the longest, most exhausting, emotional, and topsy-turvy year of my family’s (my husband & I) life. It’s a story I’ve touched on a few times on my other blog, but in reality there are no true words to tell our story. The weight of it is still somewhat overbearing as we attempt to gain what we’ve lost.

Quite simply; we gave up everything to move across the country and work in a ministry that glittered like gold on the outside, but inside boiled over with manipulation & abuse. When we questioned this sort of dictator/brainwashing/inconsistent type leadership, we were fired and left in a place thousands of miles away from our family with no job, no community, and a new baby.

Every day of 2010, I carried the hurt, the embarrassment, and the lies of what happened to us. It was the pillow I laid my head down on at night. I stirred disappointment into my coffee every morning. I went through my day feeling like everyone that passed me could only look down on me because of the failure of not succeeding at what we set out to do.

On New Year’s Eve we headed to a concert at a local church. The pastor and his wife have been pastoring for just 2 years and happen to also be gospel music artists. Before the kiddos came along, I traveled with them extensively as a background vocalist. I feel safe with them. I trust the God in them.

When the pastor begin to decree that this wasn’t just the beginning of a great year for us…but an era…the beginnings of greatness in general…I felt these words. I felt them grabbing a hold to my heart and pumping LIFE where death had tried to dominate.

On January 1st we didn’t become millionaires. The house, the car, the furniture, and the family heirloom we sold to move to California last year….none of those things magically reappeared. We weren’t offered new positions working in another church. We didn’t even have the day off from our jobs on the 1st. But there was a newness that permeated our day when we talked, when we laughed, when we held hands, when we kissed goodnight. We were alive.

LIVE.

That’s what God wants my family to do this year.
Enjoy the moment. Let the tears fall. Laugh louder. Dance in the rain. Believe for His best. Pray for His will.

LIVE.

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6 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. tracee
    Jan 04, 2011 @ 16:50:32

    Love this word for you! Feel like you’ve lived through the
    ringer! Excited to see how live takes for in your life this
    year!

    Reply

  2. Amy Nabors
    Jan 04, 2011 @ 18:28:48

    I am so sorry you had to go through a situation like that.
    You have chosen a great word for the year. God bless.

    Reply

  3. Alece
    Jan 04, 2011 @ 22:22:05

    i have tears from reading through this… tears…

    you have come through unimaginable heartache. and that breath of life that was breathed back into you? woah… that came straight from God.

    LIVE. i have goosebumps and tears keep coming… such power. such promise. such hope for your heart.

    Live, beautiful one. Live…

    Reply

  4. JuliaKate
    Jan 04, 2011 @ 23:07:49

    yes LIVE!!! that’s perfect, that’s awesome, that’s GOD!!! sometimes i forget your story because of your strength. HE has made you strong, resilient, and able to live, truly live this life out to the fullest. So excited to see what God has in store for your family this year.

    Reply

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